Last Sunday we looked at the parable of the good Samaritan in Luke 10:25-37. An expert in the law stood up to test Jesus and he defiantly asked, “Who is my neighbor?” We learned that this man had a mercy problem…he didn’t understand that he needed mercy himself and he therefore was unable to show mercy to others.
Paul Tripp in his book Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family shares how parents need to learn an important lesson about mercy: No parent gives mercy better than one who is convinced that he/she desperately needs it him/herself.
Tripp writes, “If you allow yourself to forget the daily mercies you receive from your Father’s hands, mercies you could never earn, it will become easier for you not to parent your child with mercy…You see, God’s mercy is the need and hope of every human being.” Parents, that means YOU TOO! We must grow in our realization that we desperately need God’s mercy! Tripp goes on to write, “Allow yourself to reflect on how much you need God’s mercy now, reflect on how much you needed the mercy of your parents as you grew up, and let sympathy grow in your heart.”
Only after we have reflected on the mercy we have received from God can we realize that treating our children mercifully will put God’s mercy on display to our kids in a vivid way. Here is how Paul Tripp defines mercy in parenting:
Tripp writes about what mercy is not: “Mercy is not about being wishy-washy. Mercy is not about letting down your standards. Mercy is not about acting as if the bad things your children do are okay. Mercy doesn’t mean that your abandon discipline or correction. Mercy doesn’t mean that you quit holding God’s law before your children. Mercy is not letting your children decide what they are not mature enough to decide or control what they aren’t able to control. Mercy is not about always saying yes and never saying no.”
He writes about what mercy is: “Mercy is parenting with a tender heart. Mercy is not taking your children’s failures personally, but viewing their struggles with compassion. Mercy is about blessing your children with your patience. It’s about being as careful to encourage as to rebuke. It’s about discipline that is kind and correction that is gentle. Mercy is about being firm and unyielding and loving at the same time. It is about refusing to indulge your irritation and your anger…Mercy is about moving toward your children with love even in those moments when they don’t deserve your love…Mercy means that every action, reaction, and response toward your children is tempered and shaped by tenderness, understanding, compassion, and love. Parenting is the life-long mission of humbly, joyfully, and willingly giving mercy.”
*Material quoted from Paul David Tripp, Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family, pp. 195-198.